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It Doesn’t Matter

Just got my taxes done! Got a nice piece of change, we can start on the kitchen–no maybe we can put the girls in that great summer program now without stressing. Ok, so what’s on the agenda today? When I get home I have to—BOOOOOOOOM ERRRRR!!!!

What just happened?

I’m shaking, its raining, a woman is coming towards me yelling, “what the F*$%!” Am I ok? Was I just in an accident? By the way the woman was coming at me obviously Zahiyya, duh! But I didn’t see her, she came out of nowhere…Breathe…

I gather my wallet, which has my insurance info in it. I get out of the car,

I’m sorry Ma’am I did not see you.

What the F*$%!- what the hell were you doing?

I’m sorry ma’am I didn’t see you.

I’m still shaking…

She’s on the phone, with the cops. I’m standing in the rain trying to call my husband- of all days my phone isn’t working- I can’t dial out, can’t text.

She finally calms down then surprisingly says,

You know this could’ve prevented me from something worse- who knows.

I agreed with her. Maybe this was supposed to happen today, with her, in the rain, in the Bronx- taking the long way home.

We exchange insurance information. It seems the cops take forever! 20 minutes later the rain thinned to mist. We eventually flag down a police car rolling by. After we explain to them what happened, I go back to sit in my car and wait for them to file their report.

My typical reaction would have been complete anger…

My typical reaction to this would have been complete anger and frustration. But on this day, I am overwhelmed with gratitude. Tears start welling up, as I’m speaking with my husband- now that my phone finally started to work- it could have been so much worse. Thank God I’m ok, my life – our lives could’ve changed in an instant.

I matter, what I do matters- what each of us does matters.

This experience helped put things back into perspective. I matter, what I do matters- what each of us does matters. We as individuals, sometimes make ourselves feel small “It doesn’t matter that I didn’t speak up, that I didn’t go, that I didn’t participate.” When in fact it does! What happens to us matters. The impact we have matters. We matter.

I am the link between so many people and things and no one else can take that place. The other things that I put so much emphasis on, in the end are fleeting. I was so happy that we got money back from our taxes, but that doesn’t matter. That great summer program that we could now put the kids in- so what! That doesn’t matter. If that accident would have been the end- none of that stuff would’ve mattered to the people in my life.

Tell the people in your life you love them- do something that matters, that helps another person, so that when it is our time you would have left a legacy. You matter, change the world, even if it’s just your piece of it.

But really it isn’t, it belongs to all of us and it affects us all.

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